australian-government:

I hate when people ask questions during movies like do you not understand that the movie purposly doesn’t tell you things in order to build suspense

horror movie opening scene

white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
white boy: lmao
they continue walking for a few seconds
*white couple hears noise*
white girl: babe what that??
white boy: i'll go investigate
*leaves her alone*
*choking noises*
white girl: zack!!!
white boy: ha ha just kidding!
white girl: asshole!
white boy: im just playin babe
white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
*playful kiss*
*things turn sexy*
*hear noise*
white boy: i'll go investigate
*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
*maybe a thud*
white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
*she walks and he dead*
white girl: ahhh!!
*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
white girl: ahhh!!!
*white girl runs*
*dead end*
*hides*
*thinks she free n safe*
*guy catches her*
*cuts her*
*she dead*
opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

kanyes-wife:

i hate looking ugly the first time i meet someone like wait i can do better than this i swear

ewelock:

dean-tacos-cas:

spookapple:

jackvessalius:

image

image

image

look what we have here

i have legitimately never laughed harder and for as long in my entire life

I sat here until my eyes glazed over and then was thinking ‘this is so dumb its just three wells’ and then

disloyals:

ordering pizza online is the best technological advancement since the internet itself

croutoncat:

i’ve got like 2 friends maybe 2.5

please reblog this if it is okay to anonymously confess something to you

volcainist:

you should have opened your eyes i was crazy for you

inlikewithlife:

chaotic-awesome:

I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir

This drink tastes awful, but I can’t waste alcohol: a sequel

windycube:

mullingayr:

Why doesn’t anyone ever tell me about their day like go on anon and tell me what you had for lunch or a dumb commercial that you saw I don’t care I like getting pointless messages

same

❝ Two types of people who can’t look at you in the eyes:
Someone trying to hide a lie,
And someone trying to hide a love. ❞
— (via lovely—delight)

Or people who have anxiety…